Tuesday, August 09, 2005

So where to begin

We have been thinking and talking about adoption, as a concept, for a long time. In the last while we have really been getting serious about it. What we need to do, what we need get, who we should tell, etc. Funny thing is that, while we have this VERY public venue to post all this information to, we have chosen not to tell any of our friends or family. We are thinking that we will wait to tell any one until after we get the picture of our new baby. Then it is kind of like telling them that we are pregnant and showing them the sonogram picture. We have told my brother, but only cause I needed him to profread some of the areas of the site. We were talking about the whole thing at Starbucks this afternoon, and it occurred to me that our baby might actually be born right now, or at least conceived. That is an interesting thought, since when you're pregnant, you know. We don't. There is a level of excitement and some hope, a little strange though. I actually almost feel protective already. Let me explain, when I think that our baby may actually be in the womb, or already born, I think - they better be taking good care of her. The reality though is that our baby, is probably right now going through the worst part of her life. If she is in the womb, then her parents are probably going through the trauma of realizing that they can't keep the baby, since maybe they already have too many, or for whatever reason. I am aware that most girls are abandonded since the family wants a boy to carry on the line, or to help out with the family in the later years. So that gets me to thinking that in all likelyhood, the family will not know that they are abandoning the baby until after it is born. As horrible as it sounds, I kind of hope that this is the case for our baby. While I can not imagine the mentality of someone who could dump a child for no other reason then the gender, I have to believe that if they do not know that they are going to abandon the baby then at the very least during the 9 months that she is in the womb she can still experience good emotions from her mother. I am not sure that that makes any sense but that is what is going through my mind. It must be very difficult for the birth mother to give up the baby, especially if it is just to try for a boy... That makes me even more sad to think about all the babies born in the US to teenage girls, or to crack heads, or anyone else who doesn't realize what a treasure they have growing inside of them. -- Stephen


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